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Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, a distinguished behavioral scientist and Harvard Business School professor, joined Motivational Mondays to discuss her groundbreaking research on the science of conversation. With her course Talk and award-winning studies on human interaction, Dr. Brooks has become a leading voice on improving communication in a complex world. Her work, featured in major media outlets and TED Talks, emphasizes the profound impact of reframing our mindset and embracing better conversational habits.
From Feelings to Conversations: A Personal and Professional Journey
Dr. Brooks began her career studying emotions, particularly anxiety, and how reframing performance anxiety as excitement can transform outcomes. Her findings influenced notable works, including the Pixar movie Inside Out. However, her focus shifted toward conversations after realizing how vital it is to connect through meaningful dialogue. On a personal level, growing up as an identical twin provided her with unique insights into human interaction, enabling her to observe and learn from social dynamics through her sister’s experiences.
Intentionality: The Key to Better Communication
According to Dr. Brooks, entering conversations with clear intent can significantly improve outcomes. She describes the “conversational compass,” a framework that balances informational and relational goals. High-informational goals prioritize clarity and accuracy, while relational goals focus on strengthening bonds. Understanding both aspects helps individuals navigate interactions more effectively, fostering meaningful exchanges that can improve lives both personally and professionally.
Small Talk to Deep Talk: The Conversational Pyramid
Dr. Brooks also explores the transition from small talk to deep talk through her “topic pyramid” model. Conversations typically start with general small talk but should gradually move toward personalized “medium talk” and, when appropriate, deep, meaningful discussions. Escaping small talk requires active listening, thoughtful questions, and a genuine openness to connecting on a deeper level. By approaching conversations with curiosity and intentionality, we can unlock moments of genuine connection and mutual understanding.
Listen to this episode to learn about...
- [1:46] How anxiety negatively impacts communication
- [9:15] The power of referencing back to something in a conversation
- [18:47] Accepting you can’t control other people’s words and actions
Tune into the Members Only episode to learn how empathy and apologies help to strengthen relationships, and more details about Dr. Brooks’ Harvard course, “Talk”
Resources:
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Read her new book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves
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Learn more on her website
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Listen to other Motivational Mondays episodes
